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White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage."
Plain crewneck sweatshirt, back view
White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage.", folded view
White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage.", styled flat lay
Crewneck sweatshirt size chart
  1. White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage."
  2. Plain crewneck sweatshirt, back view
  3. White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage.", folded view
  4. White crewneck sweatshirt printed with "I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don't Open My Garage.", styled flat lay
  5. Crewneck sweatshirt size chart

Realty Crewneck: I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don’t Open My Garage

From $34.99

Ships from the USA · printed to order for you · US addresses only

“I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don’t Open My Garage.” on the front of a white crewneck sweatshirt, with the staged living room and the garage that is about to burst. For the real estate agent with a garage under strict nondisclosure. Square footage, strictly limited.

Size guide · S to 5XL
Crewneck sweatshirt measurements (inches, laid flat)
SizeChest widthBody lengthSleeve length
S202633
M222734
L242835
XL262936
2XL283037
3XL303138
4XL323239
5XL343340

Chest is measured across the chest 1 inch below the armhole, laid flat (double it for the full chest). Body length is from the high point of the shoulder to the hem at the back. Sleeve length is from the center back of the neck to the sleeve hem. Allow about 1 inch either way.

Sizing: each piece is printed for you, so please check the size guide before you order. We don’t offer size exchanges, but you can cancel within 14 days of delivery and send it back unworn (return postage is at your cost). Returns policy

$7.99 US shipping for the first one, plus $2.09 for each extra one. Items from different suppliers ship separately and are charged separately.

Delivery: made to order in 3–7 business days, then shipped from inside the USA (US transit is typically 2–5 business days).

Returns: if it arrives faulty, damaged or not as described, tell us within 30 days and we’ll replace or refund it free. Please check the details and photos (and the size guide, for clothing) before you order. Returns policy · Shipping

Sending it as a gift? At checkout, enter their name and address under “Shipping address”, then untick “Use same address for billing” and add your own billing address.

Printed to order in the USA, so there are no import fees. We ship to US addresses only.

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A house cut in half runs across this crewneck sweatshirt. On the left sits a staged living room with a green sofa and a level picture frame. On the right, a garage door is holding back boxes, a bicycle, a ladder and a beach ball. Listing photos, west wing only.

Wear it to broker meetings, staging appointments and the moment a buyer asks where the storage is. Every agent has one room the listing photos politely skip. Garage door, structurally optimistic. The ladder has been in there since the last open house.

Details

  • White Crewneck sweatshirt in sizes S to 5XL
  • Printed on the front with “I Stage Homes for a Living. Please Don’t Open My Garage.”
  • Original Truweli art of a cutaway house with a spotless staged living room, green sofa, coffee table and an empty picture frame on one side, and a bulging garage door on the other with boxes, a bicycle, a ladder, string lights and a beach ball spilling out

Questions

  • What sizes are there? S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL and 5XL.
  • Where is the art? On the front.
  • Who is it for? Real estate agents, home stagers, interior designers, brokers and anyone with a spotless living room and a garage nobody is allowed to see.

Good to know

Production usually takes 3-7 business days.

Printed just for you after you order. Faulty or damaged? We replace or refund it free. See Returns for details.

Designed by Truweli with the help of AI, printed in the USA by a print partner in San Jose, California.

Truweli. The gift that says you noticed.

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Same joke, other formats